worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
