whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
