People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
