Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize