sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
