So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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