I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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