she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.