He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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