you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
