The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
