I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
