so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Four minutes until I can fart!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize