the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
