Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
