i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
