how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize