I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
