You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
