Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sorry about my life...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
