it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
