I wish I only lived at night.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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