The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
