after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
