Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
