I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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