Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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