Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
