She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
