i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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