Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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