You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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