I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
