If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
