Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
