Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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