I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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Green mimosas i think yes
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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