I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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