Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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