the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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