just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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