Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
