Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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