I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
