So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how does that bad decision feel?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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