im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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