It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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