He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
