guys are not supposed to queef...right?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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