dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
