She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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