so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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