and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
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You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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