No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
