And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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