Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.