i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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